I’m saying this from my perception of events
Of course I would want to know what happened?
I know you have your view of the situation and I have mine.
I realize you may have had things going on I didn’t fully understand and maybe you were scared, and I’m compassionate to that.
But I’m also embarrassed for you with some of the things you said to me and the way you exited left from our seeming growing connection.
After our shared experiences for almost 2 months, I think was worthy of more than the silent treatment from you. And you are worthy of knowing this:
It caused me extreme emotional pain and confusion because I’m human and was excited about the potential of a real connection with you.
I was really looking forward to seeing you after I got back from my trip…I told my friends and family about you…I even bought you a cool shirt I thought you would like and was suoer stoked to give it to you.
When you told me you thought you might have covid, I was sincerely worried…and you just seemed to not give a damn. The carelessness was shocking for me, since there was a pandemic going on and you were high risk with your profession. I worried about you for almost 3 days straight. It was fucking brutal.
Would you have even let me know if you were ok or not if I hadn’t of texted you ‘are you in the hospital? did you die’?
And your response back to me…do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that your fingers don’t work even if you have strep throat? Did you even have strep throat?
I have thought of every possible reason why you left the way you did..every truth and untruth.
Maybe you don’t know what you want or what you are doing.
Regardless, you didn’t have to leave the way that you did. We’re grown-ups. You could have talked to me. I would have respected your thoughts and reasons, no matter what they were.
There were so many things I liked about you. I was looking forward to getting to know you better, run errands with you, take trips with you, take naps with you, go dancing with you, have us meet eachother’s friends and family. All of the wonderful things that you get to experience when trying to build a relationship with someone.
I have a rich world and was optimistic that you wanted to be a part of it based on the things you were saying to me and some of the effort I was seeing.
You are the person who I hoped would be my person.
But, I’m also really disappointed that in the end, you didn’t step up. You said one thing throughout our relationship and then ultimately ended up doing something else. You just seemingly gave up on something between us that could have been good. It was easier for you to retreat than push forward. You chose comfort over potential, I guess because of your own doubts, insecurities or hidden agenda. I’ll never know.
I do thank you for the lessons in this experience.
The silent treatment from you hit me unexpectedly hard. It was complete emotional whiplash, and extremely painful for me to process on top of other things happening in my life at the time.
I didn’t deserve it. No one does. I wouldn’t have done it to you. I won’t do it to someone else.
Hopefully you can be and do better for the next person who is vulnerable with you.
If I never speak to you again, I want you to know that even though I feel you treated me without respect, kindness or empathy when you casually blew off another date and then ghosted me in the end…I still have compassion for you. I wish you happiness and fulfillment, wherever and with whoever that is.